Display custom page for bots detected from DB storage

@astonecipher once gave me a resource for detecting bots. if I have a list of 5,000 bots and their server header into in my DBs, can someone point me to a web resource that can give me any insight into how to show a custom page if a bot is detected at the render request? I can look up PHP functions myself, but didn’t know if anything special was involved that I don’t already know about. so, say for instance, as a joke I want to do this:

$ip = gethostbyaddr($_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']);
   if (substr($ip, 0, 3) = '10.') {
      echo 'sorry, but we do not display content to USA government's automated server sniffing bots.';

how much of a pain in the rear would it be to display custom pages for ‘‘x’’ number of automated hits? I realize that this is pointless because most are just from researching orgs the world over, but it IS a relevant question to ask. thanks.

Hee! Adam, you want to respond to a bot? How wrong does that sound? If you respond at all, the bot will just add your site to a accessible site and keep going back to you. You should just respond to all of your bot list with page-not-found or 404 header. Think backwards, responding tells the bot you are a valid site.

i dont’ think you got it ernie. the POINT here was to display custom messages based on what I KNOW the servers are doing. 99% are bots yes, thus no response is necessary. showing a 404 obviously would be best, thus you get rid of the crap and not be bothered again until they cycle their junk through with a new header. understand?

Hey, this is off-topic a bit, but, I came across this library that creates a fancy IP location map.
It locates where connections are coming from and creates a nice map of it. Might be something for
you to play with. It has some interesting code in it. Although I have not got it up and running as yet.
Just something for you to peek at that you might be interested in.

well I appreciate your response ernie, but there’s something I think you might be forgetting. And intelligent person like myself knows that big business people and technology businesses of all kinds literally are not very smart, and the reason they’re not very smart is because they still crap that sells immediately and then 6 months it’s out of date and useless because the Internet is always changing and there’s a million underground criminals in every country of the world, and there’s a million different headers and information that servers can spout out and therefore, in my own view, if you have intelligence and a very good brain there’s nothing better to get rid of the crap that comes to a website then using your own intelligence and forgetting stupid software written by people that think they know it all I’ve seen stuff come from all over the world for 10 years and I can tell you that no one can stop everything and so that right there tells you that all you have to do is think and don’t buy stuff that cost thousands or millions of dollars especially from a salesperson or anybody on codeproject.com

if you understand how corporate America works in the United States government works, they only think one way and only ever will think one way and therefore it’s very easy to tell what they’re doing just by calling another human being on the phone. There’s no software or maps needed whatsoever because it’s very very simple the point of this thread was to see if there was any way that I could get rid of the majority of junk and just provide business people with relevant information that’s good enough for them to tell something like…

Okay my name is out there and people know that my service exists.

That’s about it, and an intelligent developer like myself takes care of the rest by calling human beings on the phone and tell him telling them the rest which is of course you can’t stop everything and this is as good as it gets does that make sense?

There’s nothing impressive about an intellectual getting up in front of a million people and giving a conference and telling somebody " think your emails private? It isn’t". anybody with a brain knows that.and the reason of course is because corporate people are just as dumb as the people they sell to.

Oh and let me be clear ernie, then I’m not putting down the website you gave me I generally don’t use maps and I don’t look at graphs and charts because the world runs on data. It’s nothing more than data because all the stupid people of the world which total about 8.5 billion, are clicking buttons on phones all day long because they let they’re stupid cells be automated out of existence by the evil that runs the world. So, graphs and charts means absolutely nothing to me because database records go in every time a button is clicked it’s that simple. By the way I sent you a private message about the same problem I’ve always had around here hope you can help with it.

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